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Charles Pinkney A Brief Testimony, How I Became a Christian I would like to share something with you of my own spiritual background. It is my testimony of a journey from dark to light; from death to life; from unbelief to faith and belief. Too often in Christian meetings, sharing among the people, what I call "God talk," rarely occurs. Testimonies ought to be an important part of every gathering, but sadly they are not. Life changing events have a beginning.Here are some events that highlight chapters in my own 'God quest.' Though abbreviated, these tell how I came to believe the Gospel of Grace and Salvation through Jesus, Yeshua, the Jewish Messiah and in his book of testimony, the Holy Bible. With the passing of years, we tend to gain perspective and see more clearly how God was at work preparing us in our life's circumstances. He prepares many of us through trials and adversity. He prepares the clay so to speak making it possible to believe and eventually acknowledge Jesus as savior and Lord. The collection of works you see above are the fruit of my life and studies as a believer. From the beginning it is God almighty himself who does the work in us. First drawing us, then redeeming us and finally growing us to become fruitful in his kingdom. Becoming a believer is a supernaturally authored process. The Holy Spirit of God softens our dark and rebellious nature and plants a new nature within us. The prophets call this the gift of a "new heart" which is the knowledge of the Truth. It does not take long to discover that the Truth experienced by believers is at variance to the truth accepted by the world. This world, even with all of its religions is nevertheless under the control of the "evil one," the god of this world, the prince of the power of the air. Paul, the apostle, declared in his letter to the Romans (Romans 1:16) and to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 1:18) that the Gospel is the power of God to those who believe. It is only that power from God that can do the supernatural work of delivering us from the bondage of this world and giving us a new heart and a transformed mind. The power of God breaks Satan's power to bind us with addictions and fear. It is God through Christ Jesus who is the healer, the deliverer, the font of knowledge, and the promise of eternal life.
The
testimony of how God worked in my life in a miraculous way is not unlike
those of others who know that they were touched and changed powerfully.
The great song by Bill Gaither expresses this wonderfully, “He Touched
Me.” The Spirit of God through Christ Jesus is busy touching and transforming
hundreds in the world each and every day as people discover that “Whoever
shall call upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved. Joel 2:32 “And it
shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord
shall be delivered.” I am blessed that the Lord has allowed me to experience some of the realities of heavenly (Spiritual) things and to validate the reality of accounts written in the early days of the church by Messiah's apostles who wrote to instruct and encourage all believing disciples. God is today as he was then, “the same yesterday, today and forever.” God is very active today, and is still doing mighty exploits all over the world in this very hour for those who do not limit Him. Some Christians follow denominational traditions that disallow the power to experience God today. This doctrine is called “cessationism.” Church goers are apt to follow the teachings they hear from the pulpit. Often times what is being taught does not line up with the truth of the Bible. Unbelief can come from teachers who were themselves taught incorrectly. Hosea 4v6 tells us that God's people “are destroyed by lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4v6)
One of the evidences of the transformed spirit
is the discovery that the Bible itself is a divinely authored book that
can be fully relied upon. Worldly unbelievers continue to label the Bible
as fable and unreliable as a source of knowledge. Additionally, a proof
that someone has been reborn by the Spirit's power are moved to love and
study the Word. Those who are not so inclined might question whether they
have received this authentic new life. Those not so inclined may question
they have received the authentic newness of life taught by Jesus Christ.
We who have attended church have learned a prayer
that Jesus (Yeshua) taught his disciples to pray; in this prayer, we petition
God the Heavenly Father to bring His
Kingdom to earth, in perfection as it is in heaven.
The Lord's prayer covers the most important things to include in our prayers:
That our physical needs are met, that we have our sins forgiven, that
we are not deceived or taken captive by the evil one, that we will be
delivered from the time of evil, wrath and judgment that will fall upon
those who reject the free gift of salvation. We pray that the Heavenly
Kingdom will come into manifestation restoring the earth to its heavenly
state of perfection again. Too few understand what they are really asking
as they speak words without really thinking about them. Christ's
apostles speak about the God-transformed life of a 'new creation'. This
new creation experience allows believers to be recipients of a down payment
(endowment) of the 'divine nature'. These heavenly things include that
for which Jesus prayed in John 17. The new creation is spoken of in 2
Corinthians 5:v.17. Strangely, while we become new creatures of the God
kind, people who knew us, family members and friends don't always recognize
and comprehend it. For the most part, it remains hidden from their eyes. Until I was forty years of age, I was a faithful church goer. At various times I was a Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and a Congregational church member. There wasn't much of a difference. I sang in choirs and even taught Sunday School. Outwardly I looked like anyone else in the congregation. During this time I was unaware of any sort of Spiritual witness of God's presence in this church experience. Church attendance was familiar and routine. Services were also routine and predictable. I found the familiar and cozy traditions of church attendance enjoyable. I liked well-performed music. Of course there were plenty of friendly folks to chat with but on a superficial, non-spiritual level. Actions by God were absent from my life. I did not know Him. My spiritual life remained just like any other unregenerate human being. My heart was desperately wicked, a sinner. My mind was unrenewed. I had no knowledge-of or faith-in the Word of Truth. In God's eyes I was just another tare among any wheat that may have existed in the congregation. I would have to seek elsewhere for spirituality that in the occult and mysticism. I had a keen desire to really know God from my earliest days. I was brought up with a curiosity about the supernatural and the spiritual world. My curiosity about the supernatural was fed by my dad's subscription to "Fate" magazine which were always to be found in the house. This magazine was filled with "true" accounts of the mysterious, New Age and occultism. I sought the mysteries of God while in college in the world of Theosophy, astrology and Eastern mysticism. I learned a good amount in these studies and I learned that anyone desiring to achieve spirituality and be an 'adept' or guru had to perfect themselves through the rigors of self discipline.
Two or three years before I had my initial God
encounter, I returned from a late night at a local piano bar where I sipped
wine and sang in the company of good but worldly friends. On that night,
I had a powerful night
vision.
As the vision commenced I was in a dim room
where I saw before me on a table a huge, ancient book. The book was a
kind seen in a museum of antiquity or in a Harry Potter movie. I opened
the book and began to slowly turn its pages. Upon each page were
inscribed many hand-drawn symbols and mysterious and undiscipherable inscriptions.
These appeared to be glyphs, charms and symbols representing ancient,
hidden mysteries of God. There was a promise of hidden truth that I sought
to know. Suddenly an amazing transformation occurred. As I continued to
turn page after page, the book morphed into the
Holy Bible! Then again the scene changed and I was standing among a group of a perhaps a dozen others. We gathered together in a circle in close fellowship. While wearing the robe, I began sensed that I was acting as a surrogate for Jesus. There was a powerful presence in our midst. I felt the electrifying power of the Spirit of God. God was actively directing and touching all. God revealed that he could provide any of our needs where this level of Spiritual unity was present. When I awoke from this vision my body was still tingling, with a sensation like electricity charging through my body from head to toe. Following this vision, I said to myself, “There is a God life and a Spiritual world calling me. I knew that I must one day pursue this and when I do It will be all consuming. I will never be able to escape it or return to my ordinary life style again. About
this time, my first marriage had virtually ended. I had fallen short of
being a loving husband, or a good role model for my children. During growing
marital stress, I felt greater depression and emotional darkness. The
marriage ended with dissolution and final divorce. A powerful lonliness
grew within me. I felt unloved and desperately unhappy. During these years
I studied to find out how I might reconcile with my wife to restore a
loving relationship. I attempted counseling and group therapy. Yet, no
methodology, counseling or worldly teachings could bring me
peace of mind.
I would often drink to medicate myself. I believe the Lord kept me from
settling into another relationship. That would not have fixed me. It surely
would have been another tragedy.
I Call to God in Desperation He spoke to me mostly about Love, His unlimited, perfect love. His was the source of infinite love for humanity. The pain that people experience was all related to the absence of His kind of love. A growing thing flourishes with the proper nutriments; so does a soul flourish when God's love nurtures it and it becomes dark and damaged when it is absent. Love or lack of it shapes a soul's status. One can flourish with love and acceptance or wilt into darkness without it. I felt the power of His love for me and my fear disappeared. The voice of God at this time was not audible but spoke to my mind. It revealed his love and the power of that love to transform every hurt of humanity. There was no limit to this source of Love. It was like an endless flowing river. He spoke to me about matters of human fears and desperation that hinged upon the absence of love in a life. Peace came to me supernaturally along with the desire to know God more and more. He told me, “There is an Immanuel born to you, this day.” It was to be God with me working continually with me to know Him more and more. His parting words to me were these: "Read my word each day and share my love with others each day." After that night I wanted to share that amazing encounter. Where would I go I wondered? Who could I tell? I wanted to share the power and glory of his unlimited love. Could I share with students at school? No, class rooms are a dark, unwelcoming place. Was there a church where this kind of testimony could be shared? I didn't know of any church that would allow this. Who would understand that I just had an encounter with the Holy One? I didn't know where such God-touched believers could go to share a testimony of God touching their life. My ex- wife later shared that she was happy that I did not feel so desperate and unsettled for whatever reason. My youngest sister Edie had also experienced being "born again" around this time and began to encourage me. Someone told me there was an evangelist they had heard, who shared Spiritual truths actually in the Bible. These I had never been exposed to in my denominational experience. I thought that sounded worth looking into. So I began to listen to that evangelist's teaching. His message essentially said that supernatural power and spiritual happenings is a reality! Promises of the miraculous are actually in the Bible! There is so much to study, so much never imagined in the Bible! This and other Word-teaching evangelists taught that there was a Holy Spirit to enable believers which is Power from God. After this time, I began to read the Bible regularly. My mind tried to comprehend the Bible but strangely, I would fall asleep before I got very far. Besides this, I still wanted to go out with my old friends, drink and carry on in the familiar pleasures of the habitual piano bar life. This pattern was well engrained habit of my old life. But when I was home and not working I watched broadcasts of Christian evangelists and said the 'sinner's prayer' every chance I'd get. A Taste of True Worship A major evangelistic conference came to Minneapolis that May. It was the Kenneth Copeland Ministry. This was the first time I witnessed the power of charismatic Christian worship. The city auditorium was filled to capacity. I entered the building going up the outer ramp to the second floor. As I ascended the ramp, I heard a huge volume of sound coming from the auditorium. I could literally feel the the presence of God in a tangible way. It permeated the air as a palpable weight. I had never experienced such amazing worship. It was entirely fervent and authentic. Never had I seen or experienced worship like this in a church. People in the auditorium were swept up in a true passion for worship. Their hands were uplifted they seemed oblivious of anything else but God. Although I was thrilled with the experience. At some point in the evangelists message I still wanted to exit the meeting early to have fellowship with my piano bar friends. That very important mile stone event did not actually change me to any great degree. My heart was still entangled with habits and thought patters from my old life style. Holy Spirit Baptism In July of that year, I was doing maintenance on property I owned in rural North Dakota. I had been invited to sing in an Assembly of God church in a near by town that Sunday. Pastor Sanders had come to visit my sister Mary in town. This Spirit filled pastor had a reputation of knowing who and what was on God's mind. I believe it was a Friday afternoon preceding my scheduled Sunday. She lived next door to me so I was invited over. The pastor explained to my sister, her husband, and I about the baptism of the Holy Ghost. I had no theological objections about the matter and wanted to go deeper with God. The pastor shared Bible verses to validate the practice. Finally, we gathered for prayer that included “laying on of hands." This was for the purpose of imparting the baptism in the Holy Spirit. I was self conscious and nervous when I was asked to release sounds that expressed words outside of my own vocabulary. How could I say something without knowing what I was saying? The utterance was to be released out of my Spirit. I said to the group, “I will go home and do it privately.” I did just that. That night I had a deep and life changing experience. Later, that same night about 3 in the morning a friend Al came over drunk and demonized. He was inclined to this kind of bingeing. God must have directed him to visit me. I wanted him to know what I had experienced. I knew at that moment the reality of the Living God but I was still very ignorant about everything. I didn't know what words to say to lead him into a prayer of salvation even though he was ready at that moment. We agreed that he would open to the Bible and that God would give us a message right then. It was Psalm 107 that we opened and read. I believe that was a seed-event in his life nonetheless. The morning came. I may have slept only a few hours. When I awoke, I was keenly aware that I was experiencing something totally new. I felt exhilerated, altogether alive, walking in the light of joy and peace. I was experiencing the new creation. It is hard to describe this new feeling. I felt "lighter than air." The sky was bluer, The whole world was new and more beautiful. In the days following, the Bible became my dearest possession an asset I was never without. From Genesis the Revelation, It provided continuous revelation of the most amazing kind. Anointing Sunday morning arrived that I had been asked to sing. Throughout the entire morning, I was in the grip of a compelling Spiritual force that possessed my thoughts. It was a force beyond myself. My thoughts became fixated upon one phrase, “Of all the sinners in the world, I am the chief!” For these hours I was inside a kind of spiritual 'vacuum jar.' To explain, It felt my mind to be sealed so that no other thought could enter. When the time came for me to come forward to sing my special I was compelled to deliver those exact words before the assembled congregation. It did not matter what anybody might think or say. The words came out slowly as one delivering in birth. “Of all the sinners in the world I am the chief.” After that moment there was an out-pouring of “the anointing” that gripped me in the song I sang and songs sung thereafter. The anointing is that which indicates God is using a person, empowering his words or actions. It is the Holy Spirit guiding a believer that was and is God's plan for building the church from its beginning. I did not learn the term “anointing” until several months later. The anointing is a rare commodity to find in a church service these days. In modern congregations, academic forms and human programs have replaced it. (Those without the spirit consider it as performance and emotion.) In studies of the Word, the anointing of revelation supplies understanding. The Rhema of God (the Word spoken spiritually to an individual) attended the Scriptures as I studied. (As scripture tells us, “Man does not live by bread only but by every word that procedes from the mouth of God.”) That fall, eight months after my first encounter with the Lord, I returned to my teaching job. God and the Bible were my number one priorities. In the evening I smoked my pipe and sipped wine or cocktails while I studied the word. I listened to my slate of radio evangelists who were anointed Word teachers. After a while my supply of tobacco ran out. I never bought more. When the liquor ran out I never replaced it. There was no need for it. The habits of many years dryed up and disappeared. I stopped watching television and drew closer to the Lord each day. Television and so-called entertainment was a vexation of the spirit and news of the days had no relevance to me. The world of the flesh and the thoughts that possessed the world around me became meaningless and empty. I was becoming “crucified to the world." Galatians 6:14. I lived alone then in my efficiency apartment and studied the Bible until I fell asleep. Even the sweet songs of earlier years rang hollow, remote and empty. I had no trouble discerning the ministers who carried the "Spirit of Life" from those who spoke merely religious words. After my 3 hours of radio teaching I would read the Bible into the night. God's presence grew more vivid each day. The intimacy that I felt in the presence of the Lord was a reality. His presence grew stronger and stronger each day. As I said, I had abandoned TV for it was a vexation to my spirit. I was vexed by what was called entertainment. Interest in any kind of sports was the same, it was mere humdrum and noise. Current events and daily news reports were of no consequence anymore. The wholesome music that I enjoyed while growing up spoke of only vanity and worldliness. I was growing as a disciple of the Lord. During this chapter of my God story, my one passion was being with God and I basked in the comforting warmth of His presence. The Spirit of Truth
At
this time I began to experience an aspect of the Holy Spirit that Jesus
called "the Spirit of Truth."
The spirit of truth is more than an intellectual
appraisal of things we see and hear. I felt that I had been placed in
a spiritual state where Jesus' heavenly perspective was imprinted upon
everything I saw, heard or read. The world's words and actions had to
pass through the filter of God's discerning Spirit. The
phenomena of being Crucified to the World
(Galatians 6:14) became a reality to
me.
We have read these words of Paul, but much too superficially. This phrase
describes a state of being, a state of Spiritual awareness. Jesus describes
the Spirit as: The Spirit of Truth that
the world does not, (cannot receive).
(John 14:17) Listening to religious music both Christian hymns or contemporary Christian music jangled my spirit. What I found In popular contemporary Christian music was that the artist is in some way, is trying to draw attention to himself or herself. This personal style is what is valued in the world. It is uniqueness that sets apart, which becomes a 'brand' that is marketable. To be a diva one must polish his or her own performance style. Anointed music does not attempt to draw attention to the performer. The passion is from God, not an affectation of performance. Many forms of Christian music have a superficial veneer of religiosity but usually are without anointing. "Soul music" is any kind of musical performance that is so imbued with the performer's ego and affectations, that it loses its core message and Spiritual power. The great hymns of yester year were anointed as the words and song was drafted. It is only in performance that the depth of meaning is lost. The Spirit of Truth was evident In the domain of work, classrooms, school activities and times spent with my own children. All public events and professional meetings registered as empty, full of dead noise and vanity. I now know this is what Paul the apostle called, being "crucified to the world and the world to me." Wherever I went I felt like I was looking at the world as a kind of display seen through a window pane or isolation booth. I felt less like a participant in anything but an observer viewing from outside. I was the sojourner, the alien and stranger in a fallen, blind and troubled world. The Spirit of Truth was at work with music as well. Religious music was intolerable, even pleasant old songs from years back echoed of shallow sentimentalism. These first 3 years are what I call my “back of the desert” years. My back of the desert was a low rent, efficiency apartment in inner city Minneapolis. One thing that formed a profound, lasting perception during those early years was discovering the darkness and spiritual emptiness of churches. If I visited any church, especially the old, main line denominations, the Spirit of Truth revealed if there was life or death there. If the Spirit of God was absent I would experience a powerful witness; a pawl of deadness or deadly emptiness prevailed. This sense was clear but it could not be the result of intellect or reason. My spirit literally was grieved by the absence of God. I wondered how long souls attended this church without knowing that God's life was entirely absent? How long had these people invested time and resources in a place that had no connection to the kingdom of God? Pastors involved with ministry seemed unaware of the spiritual nature of their professional service in God's eyes. It was this experience that has shaped my spiritual life since that time. God is grieved with churches filled with people who do not nor can not experience God in their so called worship services. My writing “The Gospel Without Religion” is my answer in trying to encourage people to be the True Church, the church without walls, the “Called Out Body.” Human beings can and must experience Christ Jesus through the Holy Spirit. Individual believers must be awakened to their personal callings and potential to minister their own Gift from God. (Read 1Peter, 4:7-10) Discerning Life and Death in Religion
I was soon to notice that emotional hype and gimmicks were widely employed
by religious leaders and prominent ministries. This garners the attention
of a congregation, keeps them entertained or helps to induce more generous
giving. I listened to countless sermons and teachings and conference speakers.
Eventually one hears nearly every possible theme which can be preached
or taught. With most every ministry an underlying subtext was to promote
their ministry and the root paradigm of institutional religion.
Discipleship remains for all practical purposes, a foreign concept to most congregations. True discipleship must return the church to its apostolic roots, where all believers, do the works of God. Church life is more than promoting its own institutional interests or submission to their heirarchy of leadership. Having these fresh insights and motivations, I began writing a book which might have been called The Gospel for Dummies, but I did not want to present just another religious book title in the market of Christian Books. So I decided upon this title, The Gospel Without Religion. The purpose of the writing would be to show to people like myself who are hungry to know God more but have been 'sidetracked' into religion. It was written to enable religious people to discover God's reality. Outside the context of the religious paradigm, I hoped to reiterate the simplicity of the God life, the way the apostles described it; no more, no less. About a year after the anniversary of my first God encounter, in my one room back of the desert ghetto apartment, I was blessed to hear the audible voice of God on one occasion in a night vision. I always ask others to describe their own experience with the audible voice. It is a reverberating, many layered voice, laden with love and power. As I listened the voice addressed the message of Ephesians 4: relative to the gifts given to the build the Body to mature us all into the form of one perfect man: And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13) till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14, that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head- ". The perfection aspect of this passage has given me cause to ponder at how and when this perfection shall be achieved. As the years progressed after my back of the desert days, there followed many special times and adventures in the Spirit. There are more wonderful God stories. (I must do not wish to draw attention to myself.) There were visions of things to come; prophetic episodes; traveling to far away places to minister in the Spirit; angelic visits and such other things that are attested to in the Book of Acts and the Epistles. While these accounts may sound remarkable let me share that I have also suffered extreme pangs, weakness and testing in illness as well. Some teach that God's children should never have such afflictions to bare but I believe this is the norm now and was in the times of the apostles. There are some Spirit grounded and ordered ministries as we see in 1 Corinthians chapter 12 and 14 and Romans chapter 12. The works of Christ are indeed things which should attend the believer today. These however, are initiated by the leading of God's will and direction and not by our own will. Regrettably, this kind of testimonial is not always well received among the seminary trained professionals. More often than not such testimonies can produce anger or outcries rather than faith-building hope. As one prominent world-reknowned international Bible teacher once blustered on his radio broadcast, "If anyone ever told me that they had a visit with an angel I would tell him, it is time for him to visit the booby hatch." J. Vernon McGee,1990, Such well meaning Bible teaching results in one thing, theological disbelief. Such wrong beliefs and teaching grieves me. As Jesus the Great Shepherd and gatherer of his flock stated, "How I would loved to have gathered you as a mother hen gathers her own young, but you would not" (allow it.) And sadly the body remains so divided into disassociated fragments we can only wonder when this oneness, this one perfect man come to be? Finally my brothers, sisters and friends, nothing in my testimony should suggest that I am unlike any man or woman that God has called. Needy seekers who ask, seek and knock, find Grace in His sight. It is so pleasant to share koinonia (fellowship of the Body) with those of like hearts, who seek God with an openess to the Holy Spirit. It is my hearts desire that we who call ourselves Christians, welcome and receive from one other who are recipients of their own unique gifts of God. As it states in 1Peter 4:v.10. "For as many who have received the gift, minister (that gift) unto one another as stewards of the manifold grace of God." This is the very form given to us to express the kingdom of heaven, As it was in Simon Peter's day, so is it today. Start you testimony today: "I believe Jesus, that you died to pay the penalty for my sins. Jesus I want to have my sins forgiven; Lord jesus forgive me all my sins. I receive your promise of eternal life, I want to be child of the Highest. Make me brand new!
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Book 1: Index to all Charles Pinkney Christian Titles
1999-2025
updated 05-06-2025 |